Last Sunday we had our Stake Conference in the form of a satellite broadcast from Salt Lake City. It was wonderful. My notes mostly consisted of promptings and impressions I received as I listened.
One talk, the very first talk I might add, initiated specific and direct counsel for me. Elder Switzer spoke on being a victor instead of a victim. As I pondered his words and principles he taught, I was quickly reminded of the frustration I was experiencing with my online classes. I had even entertained the idea of just quitting school altogether. I reasoned that I was too busy, too old, too tired, too consumed with other trials, too dumb, too poor, too computer illiterate, too whatever! I was the perfect victim!!! And I found comfort in victimhood.
As Elder Switzer continued speaking, I was nudged by the spirit and wrote this on my paper: "Ask Jared For A Priesthood Blessing TODAY". I knew exactly why I needed a blessing. I was stuck! I had convinced myself that I could not sit at a computer and read for hours. I convinced myself that I could not learn. I knew a blessing could help to put me on a "victor" path instead of the "victim" path I so enjoyed.
Later Sunday evening I acted in faith and asked Jared for a priesthood blessing. I am thankful for his willingness and worthiness to use that power in my behalf. It was a different but very tender experience for me. Hands are amazing tools, especially when the power of the priesthood is being manifest. Although Jared's touch was gentle, I was very aware of the deliberate placement of his hands. They were heavy and warm, and though they were only on my head, they seemed to envelop all of me. Even before he uttered a word, I felt a sweet feeling of peace and love. I have never been so aware of the power and comfort of hands as I was at this moment.
Today, Thurs., Judy and I started our daily morning adventure by driving out to the white sand dunes. We parked and headed off to the distant mesas. We had hiked up and over the dunes to a particularly majestic mesa. As we got closer we found an ascending mountain goat trail that would take us on top. I have a huge phobia about heights in open areas, and although there were steep drop-offs on both sides of the narrow trail, I assured Judy that I would be fine with the climb. (Judy is fine with any climb. I often kid her about being part mountain goat herself.)
I am not the leader in hikes such as this one. I always follow behind Judy, watching her every step and trusting that she will not lead me astray. I assumed my position and carefully walked where she walked as we began our ascent up the mesa. It was much steeper and more narrow than what I had previously judged it to be. As we climbed higher and higher, fear overtook my mind and my body. I was sure I would fall over the edge. I found myself paralyzed, my body hugging the earth, scared to even look up. I did not know what I was going to do. I couldn't turn around and I could not make my feet move forward. I prayed out loud, simply saying: " Heavenly Father help me".
I summoned a little courage to lift my head and as I did, I saw a hand extended down to me. I knew it was Judy's hand and I knew that there was no way that her tiny body could pull me up. But I silently reasoned it was my only option. Immediately upon grabbing her hand, my fear began to diminish. I dug my knees into the mountain and inched my way up towards her, eventually reaching the top. I didn't need Judy to pull me, but I did need the assurance and safety that her hand offered me.
These two experiences have made me so grateful for hands; hands placed upon my head to bless me, hands outstretched to help me, hands that hug and hold me, hands that call or text me.
I write that my children may know.... I am grateful for hands.
*After Judy read this post she reminded me of some very important details that serve as great life lessons. Judy had actually offered me her hand previously to her extending it, but I was to distressed and nervous to take it. In fact, I was snippy and told her not to talk. (I know that is rude..........I tend to get rude and snippy when I am sure death is moments away.) It wasn't until I was sufficiently humbled and could pray for help, which led me to ASK Judy to give me her hand. Huge lesson right there!!
**Judy forgives my snippyness and I forgive that she tries to kill me on a weekly basis.