Last Sunday we had our Stake Conference in the form of a satellite broadcast from Salt Lake City. It was wonderful. My notes mostly consisted of promptings and impressions I received as I listened.
One talk, the very first talk I might add, initiated specific and direct counsel for me. Elder Switzer spoke on being a victor instead of a victim. As I pondered his words and principles he taught, I was quickly reminded of the frustration I was experiencing with my online classes. I had even entertained the idea of just quitting school altogether. I reasoned that I was too busy, too old, too tired, too consumed with other trials, too dumb, too poor, too computer illiterate, too whatever! I was the perfect victim!!! And I found comfort in victimhood.
As Elder Switzer continued speaking, I was nudged by the spirit and wrote this on my paper: "Ask Jared For A Priesthood Blessing TODAY". I knew exactly why I needed a blessing. I was stuck! I had convinced myself that I could not sit at a computer and read for hours. I convinced myself that I could not learn. I knew a blessing could help to put me on a "victor" path instead of the "victim" path I so enjoyed.
Later Sunday evening I acted in faith and asked Jared for a priesthood blessing. I am thankful for his willingness and worthiness to use that power in my behalf. It was a different but very tender experience for me. Hands are amazing tools, especially when the power of the priesthood is being manifest. Although Jared's touch was gentle, I was very aware of the deliberate placement of his hands. They were heavy and warm, and though they were only on my head, they seemed to envelop all of me. Even before he uttered a word, I felt a sweet feeling of peace and love. I have never been so aware of the power and comfort of hands as I was at this moment.
Today, Thurs., Judy and I started our daily morning adventure by driving out to the white sand dunes. We parked and headed off to the distant mesas. We had hiked up and over the dunes to a particularly majestic mesa. As we got closer we found an ascending mountain goat trail that would take us on top. I have a huge phobia about heights in open areas, and although there were steep drop-offs on both sides of the narrow trail, I assured Judy that I would be fine with the climb. (Judy is fine with any climb. I often kid her about being part mountain goat herself.)
I am not the leader in hikes such as this one. I always follow behind Judy, watching her every step and trusting that she will not lead me astray. I assumed my position and carefully walked where she walked as we began our ascent up the mesa. It was much steeper and more narrow than what I had previously judged it to be. As we climbed higher and higher, fear overtook my mind and my body. I was sure I would fall over the edge. I found myself paralyzed, my body hugging the earth, scared to even look up. I did not know what I was going to do. I couldn't turn around and I could not make my feet move forward. I prayed out loud, simply saying: " Heavenly Father help me".
I summoned a little courage to lift my head and as I did, I saw a hand extended down to me. I knew it was Judy's hand and I knew that there was no way that her tiny body could pull me up. But I silently reasoned it was my only option. Immediately upon grabbing her hand, my fear began to diminish. I dug my knees into the mountain and inched my way up towards her, eventually reaching the top. I didn't need Judy to pull me, but I did need the assurance and safety that her hand offered me.
These two experiences have made me so grateful for hands; hands placed upon my head to bless me, hands outstretched to help me, hands that hug and hold me, hands that call or text me.
I write that my children may know.... I am grateful for hands.
*After Judy read this post she reminded me of some very important details that serve as great life lessons. Judy had actually offered me her hand previously to her extending it, but I was to distressed and nervous to take it. In fact, I was snippy and told her not to talk. (I know that is rude..........I tend to get rude and snippy when I am sure death is moments away.) It wasn't until I was sufficiently humbled and could pray for help, which led me to ASK Judy to give me her hand. Huge lesson right there!!
**Judy forgives my snippyness and I forgive that she tries to kill me on a weekly basis.
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Life with Two Little Boys
July 28th, 1985 Journal Entry
My boys are beautiful. Derrick, now 2 years and 3 months old, is such a cutie pie. Brandon, only 4 months, is an absolute joy. I just came out of Derrick's room; it is 10:35 pm and he's trying hard to settle down and go to sleep. He's such a good boy and he always reminds us that he needs to say his prayers. Jared got him into that routine. He will always go to bed without much of a fuss even when he is not at all tired....like tonight!
Derrick is such a smart boy. Of course I would say that. He has known his entire alphabet for 8 months now. He can also count up to 30. We are so proud of him. he adores his daddy and loves to play "rough" with him. Lots of times he is so rambunctious with us, but he is a very sensitive child also. Derrick can handle being told no by us and will obey, but when someone else tells him no, he gets his feelings hurt and becomes introverted
Brandon is the sweetest little baby. Life has been a complete joy with him. Derrick loves him so much! The first thing Derrick does is to look around to see where Brandon is at. If he can't fined him , he runs around looking for me and asks: "Where did Nanee go?" He has been so gentle with him. He kisses him all the time and offers him a "peanut bibber and jelly mamich".
Derrick is talking so much these days! He comes up with some things that just crack us up. He always says he wants to eat Chex or pancakes for breakfast. He really says those words clearly. He loves "Memeen Up (7-Up) and "Toke" (Coke).
He is such an independent little boy. He wants to do everything by himself. I let him do everything he can. He helps me clean the house every morning. His favorite jobs are vacuuming washing the kitchen table, and misting the plants with the squirt bottle. He also helps with Brandon. He will get the diapers, throw away the "icky"ones and even wipe up Brandon and stick the diaper tabs together.
He entertains Brandon in the mornings by climbing in his crib and playing with him. Oh....Derrick is a climber! He often scales the refrigerator to get the raisins on top. ( I hid them, but nothing is hid from Derrick.)
Brandon is my roller. He will roll to get from one place to another. But tonight, Jared and I noticed that he is starting to pull himself across the carpet with his arms. He clutches on to some carpet and holds on with all hims might and then he pulls his body with his arms. he is a strong, little cus!
I love having my two boys. Some day I hope I will have a little girl, but I wouldn't mind at all if I had a few more boys.
My boys are beautiful. Derrick, now 2 years and 3 months old, is such a cutie pie. Brandon, only 4 months, is an absolute joy. I just came out of Derrick's room; it is 10:35 pm and he's trying hard to settle down and go to sleep. He's such a good boy and he always reminds us that he needs to say his prayers. Jared got him into that routine. He will always go to bed without much of a fuss even when he is not at all tired....like tonight!
Derrick is such a smart boy. Of course I would say that. He has known his entire alphabet for 8 months now. He can also count up to 30. We are so proud of him. he adores his daddy and loves to play "rough" with him. Lots of times he is so rambunctious with us, but he is a very sensitive child also. Derrick can handle being told no by us and will obey, but when someone else tells him no, he gets his feelings hurt and becomes introverted
Brandon is the sweetest little baby. Life has been a complete joy with him. Derrick loves him so much! The first thing Derrick does is to look around to see where Brandon is at. If he can't fined him , he runs around looking for me and asks: "Where did Nanee go?" He has been so gentle with him. He kisses him all the time and offers him a "peanut bibber and jelly mamich".
Derrick is talking so much these days! He comes up with some things that just crack us up. He always says he wants to eat Chex or pancakes for breakfast. He really says those words clearly. He loves "Memeen Up (7-Up) and "Toke" (Coke).
He is such an independent little boy. He wants to do everything by himself. I let him do everything he can. He helps me clean the house every morning. His favorite jobs are vacuuming washing the kitchen table, and misting the plants with the squirt bottle. He also helps with Brandon. He will get the diapers, throw away the "icky"ones and even wipe up Brandon and stick the diaper tabs together.
He entertains Brandon in the mornings by climbing in his crib and playing with him. Oh....Derrick is a climber! He often scales the refrigerator to get the raisins on top. ( I hid them, but nothing is hid from Derrick.)
Brandon is my roller. He will roll to get from one place to another. But tonight, Jared and I noticed that he is starting to pull himself across the carpet with his arms. He clutches on to some carpet and holds on with all hims might and then he pulls his body with his arms. he is a strong, little cus!
I love having my two boys. Some day I hope I will have a little girl, but I wouldn't mind at all if I had a few more boys.
Sunday, February 17, 2013
Practice & Prayer Makes Perfect
November 1993
Our family was given a wonderful blessing a couple of weeks ago. The music chairman, Beverly Judd, asked Jared if our family would sing in church. Well needless to say, Jared was not thrilled about it. He accepted the assignment, making it clear that the only reason our family would do this was because when Gene R. Cook came to our stake conference over a year ago, he emphasized the need to have families provide the musical numbers in our meetings.
It didn't take much preparation. We had all learned the words to a sweet, little Primary song called "Every Star Is Different" and had sung it in our FHE all year long. And to even make it better, Derrick had selected that song for his piano lessons. He had perfected it and passed it off the month before.
After much talking and encouragement, Derrick finally consented to play it for us in sacrament meeting. I knew he was just so nervous and scared. I am sure he was probably worried about being teased by his friends, especially if he goofed up. We prayed and prayed that he'd do ok and not be nervous. I wanted this to be a good experience for him. He played it at home so many times perfectly and I knew the Lord would recognize his efforts and bless him for that.
On Sunday, Nov. 12th, our family stood up before the Meadows Ward, with Derrick at the piano and sang our hearts out. Derrick played beautifully, not a single flaw. I made the mistake of glancing over at him while he played the introduction and I just about lost it. I was so proud of him. As I started to sing, I felt my throat tighten up and the tears start to well up in my eyes. I really had to concentrate hard so I could sing. All the kids did so well.
After sacrament meeting ended Derrick got mauled by adults coming up to him to shake his hand or pat him on the back. People kept telling him how good he had done. Even when he went to Primary, some of the teachers came up and told him how good his piano playing was. It was just what he needed to hear!
Our family was given a wonderful blessing a couple of weeks ago. The music chairman, Beverly Judd, asked Jared if our family would sing in church. Well needless to say, Jared was not thrilled about it. He accepted the assignment, making it clear that the only reason our family would do this was because when Gene R. Cook came to our stake conference over a year ago, he emphasized the need to have families provide the musical numbers in our meetings.
It didn't take much preparation. We had all learned the words to a sweet, little Primary song called "Every Star Is Different" and had sung it in our FHE all year long. And to even make it better, Derrick had selected that song for his piano lessons. He had perfected it and passed it off the month before.
After much talking and encouragement, Derrick finally consented to play it for us in sacrament meeting. I knew he was just so nervous and scared. I am sure he was probably worried about being teased by his friends, especially if he goofed up. We prayed and prayed that he'd do ok and not be nervous. I wanted this to be a good experience for him. He played it at home so many times perfectly and I knew the Lord would recognize his efforts and bless him for that.
On Sunday, Nov. 12th, our family stood up before the Meadows Ward, with Derrick at the piano and sang our hearts out. Derrick played beautifully, not a single flaw. I made the mistake of glancing over at him while he played the introduction and I just about lost it. I was so proud of him. As I started to sing, I felt my throat tighten up and the tears start to well up in my eyes. I really had to concentrate hard so I could sing. All the kids did so well.
After sacrament meeting ended Derrick got mauled by adults coming up to him to shake his hand or pat him on the back. People kept telling him how good he had done. Even when he went to Primary, some of the teachers came up and told him how good his piano playing was. It was just what he needed to hear!
Saturday, February 16, 2013
Daniel's Little Boy Antics
Jan 5, 1993 journal Entry
Let me write some more about Daniel; some things that stand out in my mind.
When Daniel was about three years old, he and Jared were playing on the bed. They like wrestling and tickling each other. Jared was laying on his back and Daniel lifted up Jared's shirt and saw his hairy belly. With a puzzled look on his face he said : "Dad, you got lots of fur!"
One thing that was something to watch was Daniel throwing a temper tantrum. Because of his lack of verbal skills, his tantrums consisted mainly of body language. He would jump up and down and his feet would be pulled way up to his bum. It was like he was spring loaded or on a trampoline because he would get a lot of height. It was more than we could do to try to not laugh when he'd do this.
Now at 5, Daniel still can throw a fit, but it's much more verbal. He has a personality that parallels Derrick's in many ways. He gets upset if things aren't kept on schedule or if something happens out of the ordinary.
The kid could drink a gallon of water twenty minutes before bed, but if he doesn't have a drink right before he goes to bed, he will not go to sleep. He has even tried to sneak in the kitchen after we've gone to bed to get one, only because it is part of his nightly schedule. I now have learned it is much easier on me to always let him have his drink right before bed no matter what. It saves having to listen to him yelling for his drink all night.
Let me write some more about Daniel; some things that stand out in my mind.
When Daniel was about three years old, he and Jared were playing on the bed. They like wrestling and tickling each other. Jared was laying on his back and Daniel lifted up Jared's shirt and saw his hairy belly. With a puzzled look on his face he said : "Dad, you got lots of fur!"
One thing that was something to watch was Daniel throwing a temper tantrum. Because of his lack of verbal skills, his tantrums consisted mainly of body language. He would jump up and down and his feet would be pulled way up to his bum. It was like he was spring loaded or on a trampoline because he would get a lot of height. It was more than we could do to try to not laugh when he'd do this.
Now at 5, Daniel still can throw a fit, but it's much more verbal. He has a personality that parallels Derrick's in many ways. He gets upset if things aren't kept on schedule or if something happens out of the ordinary.
The kid could drink a gallon of water twenty minutes before bed, but if he doesn't have a drink right before he goes to bed, he will not go to sleep. He has even tried to sneak in the kitchen after we've gone to bed to get one, only because it is part of his nightly schedule. I now have learned it is much easier on me to always let him have his drink right before bed no matter what. It saves having to listen to him yelling for his drink all night.
Interviewing Derrick, Brandon and Daniel
Jan 3, 1993 Journal Entry
Brandon - age 7
Best Friend - Sean Atkinson; because he's the closest
Favorite Food - Pepperoni Pizza; mom's homemade
Girlfriend - Noelle
Favorite Christmas Present - Major League Baseball Nintendo
Why You Love Dad - He takes me to baseball and basketball and football games.
Favorite Activity - Playing Monopoly with Derrick
Why You Love Mom - She's always home when I get home from school.
Favorite Story in Book of Mormon - Captain Moroni
Favorite Primary Song - Every Star is Different
Daniel - age 5
Best Friend - Tyler Drew
Favorite Food - meat
Favorite Game / Activity - Bingo
Favorite Christmas Present - The Big Mickey Mouse Yahtzee Game
Girlfriend - Tara in Mrs. Allenhouse's kindergarten class
Why You Love Dad - Because he brings me home some baseball cards.
Why You Love Mom - She always gives me kisses.
Favorite Person in the Book of Mormon - Jesus Christ, because he's the Son of God.
Favorite Movie - Home Alone 2
Favorite song - I Love To See the Temple
What You Like to Do at School - Going to Kindergarten
Derrick - age 9
Favorite Food - potatoes with cheese casserole, any kind of spaghetti and any kind of pizza
Favorite Book of Mormon Person - Captain Moroni, because he's brave and courageous.
Why I Love Dad - because he take me places.
Why I Love Mom - because you keep the house clean.
Best Friend - Andy Hanks, Derrick Hall, and Billy Zero
Favorite Subject at School - recess, GATE and lunch., sometimes math and sometimes science and any kinds of tests.
Favorite Activity - playing games outside with friends.
What Do You Like to Do For FHE - play Twenty Questions and games like family games.
If You Could Do Anything - use my whole brain and then I could do anything.
Best Thing About Being Oldest Child. - I get to do stuff before anyone else like I get to go to 4th grade and becoming a Deacon - so I can give Brandon pointers.
Favorite Treat or Dessert - anything with plain chocolate chips
Favorite Christmas Present - I don't have a favorite - I like all of them. Yahtzee.
Why You Love Noelle - because she always comes and kisses me on the cheek and because she sings "I'm Trying To Be Like Jesus."
Brandon - age 7
Best Friend - Sean Atkinson; because he's the closest
Favorite Food - Pepperoni Pizza; mom's homemade
Girlfriend - Noelle
Favorite Christmas Present - Major League Baseball Nintendo
Why You Love Dad - He takes me to baseball and basketball and football games.
Favorite Activity - Playing Monopoly with Derrick
Why You Love Mom - She's always home when I get home from school.
Favorite Story in Book of Mormon - Captain Moroni
Favorite Primary Song - Every Star is Different
Daniel - age 5
Best Friend - Tyler Drew
Favorite Food - meat
Favorite Game / Activity - Bingo
Favorite Christmas Present - The Big Mickey Mouse Yahtzee Game
Girlfriend - Tara in Mrs. Allenhouse's kindergarten class
Why You Love Dad - Because he brings me home some baseball cards.
Why You Love Mom - She always gives me kisses.
Favorite Person in the Book of Mormon - Jesus Christ, because he's the Son of God.
Favorite Movie - Home Alone 2
Favorite song - I Love To See the Temple
What You Like to Do at School - Going to Kindergarten
Derrick - age 9
Favorite Food - potatoes with cheese casserole, any kind of spaghetti and any kind of pizza
Favorite Book of Mormon Person - Captain Moroni, because he's brave and courageous.
Why I Love Dad - because he take me places.
Why I Love Mom - because you keep the house clean.
Best Friend - Andy Hanks, Derrick Hall, and Billy Zero
Favorite Subject at School - recess, GATE and lunch., sometimes math and sometimes science and any kinds of tests.
Favorite Activity - playing games outside with friends.
What Do You Like to Do For FHE - play Twenty Questions and games like family games.
If You Could Do Anything - use my whole brain and then I could do anything.
Best Thing About Being Oldest Child. - I get to do stuff before anyone else like I get to go to 4th grade and becoming a Deacon - so I can give Brandon pointers.
Favorite Treat or Dessert - anything with plain chocolate chips
Favorite Christmas Present - I don't have a favorite - I like all of them. Yahtzee.
Why You Love Noelle - because she always comes and kisses me on the cheek and because she sings "I'm Trying To Be Like Jesus."
Thursday, February 14, 2013
The Proposal and the Ring
Feb 23, 1981 Journal Entry
I remember the night Jared asked me to marry him. I felt so close to him! It was Jan 1st, 1981 at 1:00 in the morning. I wanted to explode with excitement. I wanted to tell everyone I saw. It was in the parking lot of Godfathers Pizza on Decatur and Spring Mountain and we were waiting for Danielle and Eric to open up for a New Years Party.
We decided not to say anything until we sat down and talked to our parents and until I had a ring to make it more official.
Jan. 13th, I got my ring! That was an exciting event. We hadn't really looked that much, just when we were at the mall, I'd drag Jared over to the jewelers and make him look at the ones I liked, just so he had an idea. Well, we went into Bullock and Losee just to look and the salesman came over and sat us down. He slipped a setting on my finger and I went nuts. I loved it! It had no diamonds in it, just the setting but I knew I wouldn't settle for any other ring.
The he brought out the diamonds. That was an interesting moment. We started with 1/5 of a karat, but it was just to small. Finally we worked up to 1/3 of a karat and I was thoroughly happy. It is a gorgeous ring and I love it almost as much as I love Jared!
We discussed the price and they needed a $230.00 down payment which neither one of us had. Jared told him we'd go home and think about it. Well I didn't need to think about it - my mind was made up. I remember looking into his eyes and saying : " Jared I love that ring". Then he came up with the brilliant idea that got me my ring. He said: " If you will sell all your gold we could put a down payment on it." I said let's do it. Of course he was just kidding, but I was dead serious. So between us, we got broken gold chains, silver and Jared's silver dollars and we pawned them off. We came up with $175.00 and Jared paid the rest of the balance. We took it in to Bullock and Losee that night and he said we could pick up the ring the next night. And we did!
I remember the night Jared asked me to marry him. I felt so close to him! It was Jan 1st, 1981 at 1:00 in the morning. I wanted to explode with excitement. I wanted to tell everyone I saw. It was in the parking lot of Godfathers Pizza on Decatur and Spring Mountain and we were waiting for Danielle and Eric to open up for a New Years Party.
We decided not to say anything until we sat down and talked to our parents and until I had a ring to make it more official.
Jan. 13th, I got my ring! That was an exciting event. We hadn't really looked that much, just when we were at the mall, I'd drag Jared over to the jewelers and make him look at the ones I liked, just so he had an idea. Well, we went into Bullock and Losee just to look and the salesman came over and sat us down. He slipped a setting on my finger and I went nuts. I loved it! It had no diamonds in it, just the setting but I knew I wouldn't settle for any other ring.
The he brought out the diamonds. That was an interesting moment. We started with 1/5 of a karat, but it was just to small. Finally we worked up to 1/3 of a karat and I was thoroughly happy. It is a gorgeous ring and I love it almost as much as I love Jared!
We discussed the price and they needed a $230.00 down payment which neither one of us had. Jared told him we'd go home and think about it. Well I didn't need to think about it - my mind was made up. I remember looking into his eyes and saying : " Jared I love that ring". Then he came up with the brilliant idea that got me my ring. He said: " If you will sell all your gold we could put a down payment on it." I said let's do it. Of course he was just kidding, but I was dead serious. So between us, we got broken gold chains, silver and Jared's silver dollars and we pawned them off. We came up with $175.00 and Jared paid the rest of the balance. We took it in to Bullock and Losee that night and he said we could pick up the ring the next night. And we did!
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Falling in Love
* I don't have a date on this journal entry, but it was written some time after Jan. 1980.
Many months have passed ...since I've last written my feelings and thoughts. My life certainly has changed. Boy I do have to get caught up.
A very special person has come into my life. Jared Kimball Rust got home off his mission Oct. 6th. He toured with his parents for two weeks and then got home around the 19th or 21st. I went to pick him up at the airport with Danielle and I was scared stiff. I remember seeing him and not knowing what to do! I decided to break the ice by hugging him. I was slightly disappointed when he showed no response at all.
As we began to see each other and develop the friendship we shared before his mission, I found myself falling in love! Man, I fought it all the way. I couldn't believe I was beginning to melt by his charm and personality. It scared me so bad. I knew right from the beginning that he was falling for me and likewise, he wasn't to pleased with the fact either.
I remember my dad telling me that I was going to marry that guy if I kept seeing him every night. I just would laugh at him. I never thought I would ever get close enough to Jared to even think about marriage.
*Another dateless post :( - 1980
Life with Jared has been exciting. He's so sensitive to me, but his personality has many facets. He can be a teasing kind of mean guy, but he know his limits. He know when it's time to stop and wrap his arms around me and tell me he loves me. He's outdoorsie! I love it. He enjoys hunting and sports. But even in that, he takes moderation. He can sense when I'm bored with football games or basketball games and he can walk away from them and do something more appealing to my tastes.
His dad once told me that in their family of him and his four sons, that Jared was the best hunter. He was the one who thought out the whole process, he was the one who would use skill in his hunting, and the one to keep going until he got his deer. I was so proud when he told me that. I just wish that he would have told Jared what he told me.
Jared is just a neat, well-rounded guy with a young girl who loves him very much. I still can't believe that Jared Rust actually loves me and really wants to marry me! It startles me every time I think about it honestly. I still can't believe that a good-looking, spiritual, sensitive and totally crazy man wants to marry me!
I remember a time, just a few weeks after his mission, we had been going out and were hanging around each other all the time. We had just began to develop a deep friendship We were driving to Tommy and Marilyn Hill's house because they had invited Jared to eat dinner with them so he was taking me along. I asked him in the car if he thought he could ever marry me. I couldn't believe those words came out of my mouth. It startled him and me! He said something to the effect that it would never last. I always wondered why he said that.
I love him! What am I going to do!
*Nov 9th, 1980 Journal Entry (Jared and I are both up at BYU)
I was just over at Jared's apt for dinner. He made lasagna. He's such a good cook. I really feel inferior to him when it comes to cooking skills. He's all moved in now and he wanted me to see how he and Jim decorated their bedroom. All these memories came to mind when I saw all the things I had given him. I sent him a big, fat, stuffed heart in the mail. It's call fat mail. I loved seeing it there. There's a newspaper hanging up that I had printed at Circus Circus for him that says: "Believe It or Not - Lorri Really Does Love Jared". There is plaques and mirrors that I gave him, and there is the blue plaid quilt that I made him for Christmas.
Nov 16, 1980
Jared is working up here. He is building this building called The Cotton Tree Inn. Jared is very knowledgeable when it comes to construction. It really make me proud of him to see him do work like that. It's hard, but it teaches him so much. Jared is very intelligent and has a sharp mind. But he is super coordinated too and can fix anything . He has fixed a lot of things for me and my family and it makes me so proud. He is constantly working on his car. You'd think by him putting that much time into it , it would be great, but it is always breaking down. It cracsk me up. I think Jared enjoys it however, just so he can fix it.
Jared has so many wonderful qualities I compare him so much to my dad. And to me, there is no one who is a better person than my dad. I have the highest respect for him. Jared is starting to form that image in my eyes. I find myself holding him on a pedestal.
Many months have passed ...since I've last written my feelings and thoughts. My life certainly has changed. Boy I do have to get caught up.
A very special person has come into my life. Jared Kimball Rust got home off his mission Oct. 6th. He toured with his parents for two weeks and then got home around the 19th or 21st. I went to pick him up at the airport with Danielle and I was scared stiff. I remember seeing him and not knowing what to do! I decided to break the ice by hugging him. I was slightly disappointed when he showed no response at all.
As we began to see each other and develop the friendship we shared before his mission, I found myself falling in love! Man, I fought it all the way. I couldn't believe I was beginning to melt by his charm and personality. It scared me so bad. I knew right from the beginning that he was falling for me and likewise, he wasn't to pleased with the fact either.
I remember my dad telling me that I was going to marry that guy if I kept seeing him every night. I just would laugh at him. I never thought I would ever get close enough to Jared to even think about marriage.
*Another dateless post :( - 1980
Life with Jared has been exciting. He's so sensitive to me, but his personality has many facets. He can be a teasing kind of mean guy, but he know his limits. He know when it's time to stop and wrap his arms around me and tell me he loves me. He's outdoorsie! I love it. He enjoys hunting and sports. But even in that, he takes moderation. He can sense when I'm bored with football games or basketball games and he can walk away from them and do something more appealing to my tastes.
His dad once told me that in their family of him and his four sons, that Jared was the best hunter. He was the one who thought out the whole process, he was the one who would use skill in his hunting, and the one to keep going until he got his deer. I was so proud when he told me that. I just wish that he would have told Jared what he told me.
Jared is just a neat, well-rounded guy with a young girl who loves him very much. I still can't believe that Jared Rust actually loves me and really wants to marry me! It startles me every time I think about it honestly. I still can't believe that a good-looking, spiritual, sensitive and totally crazy man wants to marry me!
I remember a time, just a few weeks after his mission, we had been going out and were hanging around each other all the time. We had just began to develop a deep friendship We were driving to Tommy and Marilyn Hill's house because they had invited Jared to eat dinner with them so he was taking me along. I asked him in the car if he thought he could ever marry me. I couldn't believe those words came out of my mouth. It startled him and me! He said something to the effect that it would never last. I always wondered why he said that.
I love him! What am I going to do!
*Nov 9th, 1980 Journal Entry (Jared and I are both up at BYU)
I was just over at Jared's apt for dinner. He made lasagna. He's such a good cook. I really feel inferior to him when it comes to cooking skills. He's all moved in now and he wanted me to see how he and Jim decorated their bedroom. All these memories came to mind when I saw all the things I had given him. I sent him a big, fat, stuffed heart in the mail. It's call fat mail. I loved seeing it there. There's a newspaper hanging up that I had printed at Circus Circus for him that says: "Believe It or Not - Lorri Really Does Love Jared". There is plaques and mirrors that I gave him, and there is the blue plaid quilt that I made him for Christmas.
Nov 16, 1980
Jared is working up here. He is building this building called The Cotton Tree Inn. Jared is very knowledgeable when it comes to construction. It really make me proud of him to see him do work like that. It's hard, but it teaches him so much. Jared is very intelligent and has a sharp mind. But he is super coordinated too and can fix anything . He has fixed a lot of things for me and my family and it makes me so proud. He is constantly working on his car. You'd think by him putting that much time into it , it would be great, but it is always breaking down. It cracsk me up. I think Jared enjoys it however, just so he can fix it.
Jared has so many wonderful qualities I compare him so much to my dad. And to me, there is no one who is a better person than my dad. I have the highest respect for him. Jared is starting to form that image in my eyes. I find myself holding him on a pedestal.
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