* This post is not promoting any specific relationships whatsoever.
I am so grateful that my sons are attracted to good, virtuous girls. I have always know that they will marry amazing women. Brittney and Emily are testaments of that. But this post is regarding my daughters. Jared is fierce when it comes to the men who will claim his girls; I understand that and am thankful he is. Noelle, Natalie and Holly have been blessed to know and date righteous young men. Their standard has been set for them . I do not see them settling for less when it comes to who they will choose to marry. Beebz, here is that standard. Learn it, understand it, and when the time comes to date, you do not settle for less.
Enter Eric, Bowen and Dirk. Again, I am not pushing relationships; but I truly love these three young men. Some day I might tell them, but for now I tell you. I love how they treat my girls. I love how they have treated me. Chivalry is not dead or obsolete. Simple, little acts tell great things about who you are.
1. They always open every door for you. * Not only did Eric do this for Noelle, he did it for me.
2. They look out for you first and foremost in all things. * Love how Dirk will always make sure that Holly gets the comfortable chair instead of the hard one when they are at the table.
3. Their words are kind, appropriate and uplifting. * Natalie couldn't have helped but think that she was the most beautiful, important person in the world when Bowen asked her to prom. (Nat...you must share that with us.)
4. Helping others just comes natural to them. * Holly told me about how Dirk and one other boy were the only two out of eight, that helped clean up dinner when they had it on the mesa for a girl's reverse date. It was cold & windy and everyone else hopped into the cars to keep warm. Holly said that it made her feel so good that Dirk was that kind of person. * When Noelle was down last week and we started to clean the house, Eric came up to me and asked for chores to do. After he would finish them, he came and got more. He was humble and kind and so HAPPY to help out. * When I asked Bowen to help Natalie throw a surprise party for Holly's 16th birthday, he was excited to do it and went the extra mile to make it fun for her and Natalie.
5. They are just all-around good people. * All three of these young men are happy and pleasing to be around. They smile. They laugh. They are positive. They are respectful.
There you have it Beebz. I have just given you snippets of examples of their character, but you get the idea.
Thursday, April 25, 2013
Monday, April 22, 2013
Derrick - A Modern-Day Captain Moroni
The other day I had this thought: "Derrick and Captain Moroni have a lot in common." I also thought, that if it was Derrick who was leading the Nephites into battle time and time again, he probably would have done it much like Moroni did.
Captain Moroni always had a well thought out plan, taking into consideration all scenarios and possibilities. Derrick does that too. They are both men of action! They don't just speak it; they do it regardless of what is required of them. Alma teaches a pattern that exemplifies how both of these amazing men work. Alma 32: 43. "...Ye shall reap the reward of your faith, and your diligence, and patience, and long-suffering, waiting for the tree to bring forth fruit unto you." As a little boy, I saw this gift and pattern manifest in Derrick. He has always been a goal-setter. Many people are! But what separates him from the others is how he goes about accomplishing his goals. It is impressive to say the least. He makes a plan and sticks with it.
Faith - Faith is a word denoting ACTION! Derrick does not overly speak his goals. He just does them. I expressed to him the other day that dad and I would love to go to the Rome, Italy Temple dedication next year. He asked me how serious we were in this desire. I answered his question and told him we would love to go with him and Brittney. Derrick simply said: "OK, let's do it! Start saving and so will we." I don't perceive having this conversation with him again, not until we start to make our travel plans at least. In his mind the goal is fixed, and the action of faith of going on this trip now begins.
Diligence - Just as Captain Moroni was wise and strategic, so is Derrick. He studies out his course of action. I will never forget his senior year in college as he prepared to interview with possible employers. He would call me (* I adore... beyond adore, how Derrick has always called me and make me feel part of his life ) and tell me how he had prepared for a particular interview. I was always blown away by what he told me. He would study and learn all he could about the company he would be interviewing with. He would know all the facts, figures and details that would show his interest and desire to be part of the company. It did not stop there. He would study for weeks on how to execute a positive, impressive interview, whether in person or on the phone. He knew how to frame his answers; what kind of questions he should ask, what he should wear, tone of voice to use, etc., etc., etc. I loved hearing his plan of attack. Just like Captain Moroni, Derrick's diligence would pay off. His plan was impressive, strategic, and fruitful!
Patience & Long Suffering - Derrick is what I consider "a slow and steady" person. He does not make rash, or off-the-cuff decisions. I value this gift in him. It is a spiritual gift that I feel most great leaders possess. Derrick isn't swayed by the need for immediate gratification. He knows what needs to be done and just begins to do it, regardless of how hard or long it might take him. As a result, his patience and willingness to sacrafice has led to many great and wonderful accomplishments in his life.
Just a couple of days ago Derrick called and in the course of our conversation, he mentioned that he and Brittney were looking to move into new home. He didn't say much more than that, but this is what that simple exchange meant to me. I envisioned his course of action to be: 1. Derrick and Brittney would make an aggressive budget plan to accommodate this goal. They would count pennies, go without, reassess, save, and whatever else they needed to do to make this new home financially possible and appropriate. 2. They would then begin the looking process . Derrick & Brittney would study out neighborhoods, schools, ward, parks, shopping, work accessibility and any other imaginable thing that needed to be looked into. 3. Upon finding their dream home, they would still be cautious, prayerful and thoughtful until they knew it was exactly what they wanted and needed and where they should be.
Actions of faith, diligence, patience, and long suffering might seem like just common sense to Derrick............but it is so much more than that. It truly is a gift to be able to plan, wait, work hard, sacrifice, and then stick with it till the end result is what you had first envisioned.
This spiritual gift made Captain Moroni an amazing person and leader. It has made Derrick an amazing person and leader too. I make one final comparison between these two men. Captain Moroni's job was not to win wars. His job was to fight for freedom, liberties, God, and righteousness. Throughout the accounts in the Book of Mormon, we get a sense of the value he placed on life and his compassion for mankind.
When Derrick was four years old I enrolled him in a gymnastics class. The first class came and I sat in the stands watching my son, and anticipated a future Olympic gymnast. The very first thing the teacher did was to have all the children run around the perimeter of the gym. I, being very competitive and somewhat boisterous, and seeing that Derrick was at the back of the pack, yelled out for him to run faster. He didn't. In fact he and another little boy were behind all the rest and I could see them chatting back and forth with each other. I was frustrated and I kept encouraging (yelling) for him to run faster. Suddenly the other little boy tripped and fell. Shamefully I admit that I had the thought that at least Derrick will now have a chance to catch up without having this boy to talk to. That didn't happen. Derrick stopped; bent down and helped up his new friend and together, they continued their conversation as they happily came in last place. Derrick's job wasn't to be an Olympic gymnast. His job was to just be a good, kind friend. He has always had a sense of compassion for others. It was manifest as a four year old, and I see it manifest in who he is today.
Derrick, I have learned so much from you. The gifts that I mention in this post are gifts that I need to develop if I am to accomplish what I desire to accomplish. I use you as my pattern and example. I am grateful for your tender heart. Happy Birthday son. I love you. Mommy
Captain Moroni always had a well thought out plan, taking into consideration all scenarios and possibilities. Derrick does that too. They are both men of action! They don't just speak it; they do it regardless of what is required of them. Alma teaches a pattern that exemplifies how both of these amazing men work. Alma 32: 43. "...Ye shall reap the reward of your faith, and your diligence, and patience, and long-suffering, waiting for the tree to bring forth fruit unto you." As a little boy, I saw this gift and pattern manifest in Derrick. He has always been a goal-setter. Many people are! But what separates him from the others is how he goes about accomplishing his goals. It is impressive to say the least. He makes a plan and sticks with it.
Faith - Faith is a word denoting ACTION! Derrick does not overly speak his goals. He just does them. I expressed to him the other day that dad and I would love to go to the Rome, Italy Temple dedication next year. He asked me how serious we were in this desire. I answered his question and told him we would love to go with him and Brittney. Derrick simply said: "OK, let's do it! Start saving and so will we." I don't perceive having this conversation with him again, not until we start to make our travel plans at least. In his mind the goal is fixed, and the action of faith of going on this trip now begins.
Diligence - Just as Captain Moroni was wise and strategic, so is Derrick. He studies out his course of action. I will never forget his senior year in college as he prepared to interview with possible employers. He would call me (* I adore... beyond adore, how Derrick has always called me and make me feel part of his life ) and tell me how he had prepared for a particular interview. I was always blown away by what he told me. He would study and learn all he could about the company he would be interviewing with. He would know all the facts, figures and details that would show his interest and desire to be part of the company. It did not stop there. He would study for weeks on how to execute a positive, impressive interview, whether in person or on the phone. He knew how to frame his answers; what kind of questions he should ask, what he should wear, tone of voice to use, etc., etc., etc. I loved hearing his plan of attack. Just like Captain Moroni, Derrick's diligence would pay off. His plan was impressive, strategic, and fruitful!
Patience & Long Suffering - Derrick is what I consider "a slow and steady" person. He does not make rash, or off-the-cuff decisions. I value this gift in him. It is a spiritual gift that I feel most great leaders possess. Derrick isn't swayed by the need for immediate gratification. He knows what needs to be done and just begins to do it, regardless of how hard or long it might take him. As a result, his patience and willingness to sacrafice has led to many great and wonderful accomplishments in his life.
Just a couple of days ago Derrick called and in the course of our conversation, he mentioned that he and Brittney were looking to move into new home. He didn't say much more than that, but this is what that simple exchange meant to me. I envisioned his course of action to be: 1. Derrick and Brittney would make an aggressive budget plan to accommodate this goal. They would count pennies, go without, reassess, save, and whatever else they needed to do to make this new home financially possible and appropriate. 2. They would then begin the looking process . Derrick & Brittney would study out neighborhoods, schools, ward, parks, shopping, work accessibility and any other imaginable thing that needed to be looked into. 3. Upon finding their dream home, they would still be cautious, prayerful and thoughtful until they knew it was exactly what they wanted and needed and where they should be.
Actions of faith, diligence, patience, and long suffering might seem like just common sense to Derrick............but it is so much more than that. It truly is a gift to be able to plan, wait, work hard, sacrifice, and then stick with it till the end result is what you had first envisioned.
This spiritual gift made Captain Moroni an amazing person and leader. It has made Derrick an amazing person and leader too. I make one final comparison between these two men. Captain Moroni's job was not to win wars. His job was to fight for freedom, liberties, God, and righteousness. Throughout the accounts in the Book of Mormon, we get a sense of the value he placed on life and his compassion for mankind.
When Derrick was four years old I enrolled him in a gymnastics class. The first class came and I sat in the stands watching my son, and anticipated a future Olympic gymnast. The very first thing the teacher did was to have all the children run around the perimeter of the gym. I, being very competitive and somewhat boisterous, and seeing that Derrick was at the back of the pack, yelled out for him to run faster. He didn't. In fact he and another little boy were behind all the rest and I could see them chatting back and forth with each other. I was frustrated and I kept encouraging (yelling) for him to run faster. Suddenly the other little boy tripped and fell. Shamefully I admit that I had the thought that at least Derrick will now have a chance to catch up without having this boy to talk to. That didn't happen. Derrick stopped; bent down and helped up his new friend and together, they continued their conversation as they happily came in last place. Derrick's job wasn't to be an Olympic gymnast. His job was to just be a good, kind friend. He has always had a sense of compassion for others. It was manifest as a four year old, and I see it manifest in who he is today.
Derrick, I have learned so much from you. The gifts that I mention in this post are gifts that I need to develop if I am to accomplish what I desire to accomplish. I use you as my pattern and example. I am grateful for your tender heart. Happy Birthday son. I love you. Mommy
Thursday, April 4, 2013
Easter Lessons
Last Saturday I purchased a fluffy, little yellow baby chick from Home Hardware. My plans were to show it to my Primary children and tell them how a chick breaking through his eggshell is symbolic of the Savior breaking the bonds of death. That did not happen. A far greater Easter lesson was "experienced".
By the time Sunday morning came we were all quite fond of our new family addition. He would jump out of his box and follow the person who was closest to him. He was very sociable and enjoyed company! As our Easter morning got busier I found a box that I was sure he would not be able to jump out of and placed him in it. The girls and I then headed to the kitchen to start breakfast.
Holly returned to the living room to ask her dad something and a minute later I heard her scream as she ran down the hall to her bedroom. I hurried into her room to find her visibly shaken and sobbing. Hannah and Jared were close behind and I turned to them in hopes they knew what had happened. They did. No one realized that the chick had hopped out of his box and when Holly took a step backward, her foot smashed it.
Now this might not seem like that big of a deal or it might even seem a little comical to some, but it wasn't. It was heartbreaking. Between her sobs Holly kept saying: "I don't know what to do; I don't know what to do!" After some time, she was finally able to sit down and talk, but she couldn't get the image out of her mind.
As her mother, it was horrible watching Holly and the pain she was in. I remembered back to the time when I felt the thump thump of the car tires as I ran over a cat. I remembered the sorrow and pain I felt upon realizing I had killed something. But our experiences were different and I truly didn't know the depth of Holly's sadness.
But I knew who did. I don't know if there has ever been an Easter Sunday where I was so aware and filled with gratitude for a Savior who knows exactly how we feel. I promised Holly that the atonement would swallow up her pain and take away the horror of the memory. And then I felt prompted to go and get a clean, damp wash cloth and wash Holly's feet. It was all I could do for her. Symbolically, I was washing away her sadness and sorrow and I was grateful for that sweet, tender moment.
Shortly after, Jared went into Holly's room and put his arms around her, offering to give her a father's blessing. He placed his hands on her head and began his sweet, beautiful prayer. I knew that the power of the Priesthood was the conduit to applying the Savior's atonement. Jared gave Holly the blessing, but I too, felt the power of that blessing comfort me.
I asked Holly for permission to write about this experience. There has been a healing take place during the week. The atonement is not just for our sins, it is for anything that causes us to suffer. Oh, it is wonderful, wonderful to me!
Monday, April 1, 2013
Game Farm Wishes
*Originally this was written on Molly's birthday, Mar. 26th. I could not post it to my blog for some reason,so I posted it on our RUST LTD FB site. I now happily add it to my blog.
Dear Molly,
As I lay in bed early this morning, I realized that I am fifty years older than you! That is a lot of years. I began to think of your little three-year old person, what you look like, what you do, how I perceive you, and also my hopes and dreams for you. It was a wonderful start to my day.
I continued thinking about you as Judy and I took off on our daily morning adventure. Today we headed for the US Wildlife Game Farm. I love the game farm. I view it as my own tranquil, deserty Garden of Eden. I can hardly wait to share my game farm with you some day, but today, I share with you, my game farm wishes.
Judy and I followed a little path the encircled one of the many ponds that are on this game farm. Lining the path are tall, straight desert cattails. I love desert cattails; the stalks are strong and upright, bending with the breeze, but never breaking. On the tip of the stalks, are tufts of a soft, feathery plant. When a breeze pops up the stalks sway, encouraging the delicate tips to gently float off in the air. Sometimes I blow the tips as if they are big dandelions and hope that my big wishes come true. As I thought of these cattails, I thought of you. I thought of how you pitter patter about, running on your tip toes from place to place, spreading your Molly magic where ever you go. I love it when we Skype and seeing you run, only stopping briefly to read a book or two. I love seeing your blonde curls bounce with each step. You create gentle breezes of love and fun throughout your day, bending here and there, letting everyone share in you!
One of my very favorite game farm things is its wildlife. Geese and ducks cover the ponds. Obnoxious wild turkeys cover the dirt roads and fields. Other animals hide in the bushes and trees, only showing themselves on rare occasions. It is fascinating to be privy to their lives for a minute or two. As we were walking on the outskirts of a lush, green field, I spied four long necks, with pointy, little Canadian Geese heads attached, popping up out of the foliage. Their bodies were completely hidden. Although their movements were very slight, I could see that they necks and heads were almost always in constant motion. They would quickly turn their heads and fix their eyes on their surroundings. These geese were aware of every step we took. They were aware of the flock of ducks that had just left the pond and were skyward bound. They were aware of every chirp, croak and caw. They were taking in all that that moment had to offer. Once again, I thought of you Molly. I thought of your big, beautiful eyes drinking in every thing you see. I thought of your active, alert mind expanding every day. I thought of your wide all encompassing smile, letting everyone know that you are a happy, content little girl. Yes, you are very much like my geese friends; constantly aware and taking it all in.
The morning adventure ended in the most wonderful of ways. We must have been too noisy and undoubtedly startled a big beautiful Blue Heron out of the safety of her pond. I looked up just in time to see her clearing the reeds; her long body sleek and streamlined and I sensed that she was very determined. And then it happened! She open her huge, majestic wings and with one powerful thrust, she took flight. It was inspiring to witness, and I felt the sacredness of that beautiful sight. I couldn't help my excitement and awe as I thought of the time when you will spread your wings and take flight. You will know and more importantly feel, that you are a cherished daughter of God, full of confidence, talents, knowledge and love. You will soar to heights that I can not even imagine.Your flight, Miss Molly, will be majestic, determined and sacred.
It is now our little game farm "Garden of Eden"; yours and mine. I see us walking hand in hand down our cattail lined path, watching our geese and experiencing our Blue Heron's flight together. I can hardly wait until that happens. Happy Birthday Molly Dolly! I miss you and I love you. Grandma
Dear Molly,
As I lay in bed early this morning, I realized that I am fifty years older than you! That is a lot of years. I began to think of your little three-year old person, what you look like, what you do, how I perceive you, and also my hopes and dreams for you. It was a wonderful start to my day.
I continued thinking about you as Judy and I took off on our daily morning adventure. Today we headed for the US Wildlife Game Farm. I love the game farm. I view it as my own tranquil, deserty Garden of Eden. I can hardly wait to share my game farm with you some day, but today, I share with you, my game farm wishes.
Judy and I followed a little path the encircled one of the many ponds that are on this game farm. Lining the path are tall, straight desert cattails. I love desert cattails; the stalks are strong and upright, bending with the breeze, but never breaking. On the tip of the stalks, are tufts of a soft, feathery plant. When a breeze pops up the stalks sway, encouraging the delicate tips to gently float off in the air. Sometimes I blow the tips as if they are big dandelions and hope that my big wishes come true. As I thought of these cattails, I thought of you. I thought of how you pitter patter about, running on your tip toes from place to place, spreading your Molly magic where ever you go. I love it when we Skype and seeing you run, only stopping briefly to read a book or two. I love seeing your blonde curls bounce with each step. You create gentle breezes of love and fun throughout your day, bending here and there, letting everyone share in you!
One of my very favorite game farm things is its wildlife. Geese and ducks cover the ponds. Obnoxious wild turkeys cover the dirt roads and fields. Other animals hide in the bushes and trees, only showing themselves on rare occasions. It is fascinating to be privy to their lives for a minute or two. As we were walking on the outskirts of a lush, green field, I spied four long necks, with pointy, little Canadian Geese heads attached, popping up out of the foliage. Their bodies were completely hidden. Although their movements were very slight, I could see that they necks and heads were almost always in constant motion. They would quickly turn their heads and fix their eyes on their surroundings. These geese were aware of every step we took. They were aware of the flock of ducks that had just left the pond and were skyward bound. They were aware of every chirp, croak and caw. They were taking in all that that moment had to offer. Once again, I thought of you Molly. I thought of your big, beautiful eyes drinking in every thing you see. I thought of your active, alert mind expanding every day. I thought of your wide all encompassing smile, letting everyone know that you are a happy, content little girl. Yes, you are very much like my geese friends; constantly aware and taking it all in.
The morning adventure ended in the most wonderful of ways. We must have been too noisy and undoubtedly startled a big beautiful Blue Heron out of the safety of her pond. I looked up just in time to see her clearing the reeds; her long body sleek and streamlined and I sensed that she was very determined. And then it happened! She open her huge, majestic wings and with one powerful thrust, she took flight. It was inspiring to witness, and I felt the sacredness of that beautiful sight. I couldn't help my excitement and awe as I thought of the time when you will spread your wings and take flight. You will know and more importantly feel, that you are a cherished daughter of God, full of confidence, talents, knowledge and love. You will soar to heights that I can not even imagine.Your flight, Miss Molly, will be majestic, determined and sacred.
It is now our little game farm "Garden of Eden"; yours and mine. I see us walking hand in hand down our cattail lined path, watching our geese and experiencing our Blue Heron's flight together. I can hardly wait until that happens. Happy Birthday Molly Dolly! I miss you and I love you. Grandma
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Suffer The Children
I am the Primary chorister in my ward. I love this calling and as cliche as it sounds, yes, the children really do teach me every week. This past Sunday was no exception.
As the Jr. Primary children hurried into the primary room after sacrament meeting , I stood in front of the room and sang songs, welcoming them in. This is what I do every week.
Little three year-old Lauren Hopkins was having a very hard time in Primary. Her mother, Larissa, sat beside her for a few minutes, reassured her, and then got up to leave. Lauren tried to suppress her tears, but it was more than her little heart could take and she began to sob. I guess it was more than Larissa's heart could take as well, and she went back and sat by daughter. Once again Larissa comforted Lauren, and stood to leave. And again, Lauren began to sob. Larissa took courage and did what a mom needs to do sometimes; she did not go back.
I quickly began singing fun little action songs with the children in hopes that I could catch Lauren's attention and keep her from crying. It didn't work. Her crying increased, but I was so surprised by how still and reverent the rest of the children were. They were softy singing as if to comfort their little friend. .
Then something amazing happened. As we were quietly singing I watched four-year old Joseph Bolton reverently get up from his chair. He walked behind where Lauren was sitting and put his arm around her shoulders, while bending over to show her that it was him. So calm. So sacred. So perfect. As Lauren's cries began to subside, Joe quietly returned back to his seat never saying a word.
Tears filled my eyes as I realized I stood on sacred ground. I had just witnessed love, even charity in its purest form.
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
"An Heart of Flesh". Ezekiel 11:19
Ezekiel quotes the Lord God: "And I will take the stony heart out of their flesh, and will give them an heart of flesh." That is exactly what the Lord has done for Brandon. I am sure there have been times when a stone has found place in his heart, but basically Brandon's heart has been open and absorbing. The experiences of his childhood (previous blog post) are perfect examples of this spiritual gift.
Brandon associated with a unique group of boys while growing up. Looking back on it, I sense that he was the hub of the group, giving some stability to their somewhat troubled lives. Tyler Knotek; only active member in his family. Beau Biscamp; raised by a single mom. Thomas Loderstat; father jailed for growing marijuana in his back yard. These are only the three that come to mind, but there were others with similar trials. These boys loved Brandon and I know it was because he gave them his heart. There were many times when they would all join us for family scripture study and prayers. We had a tradition of hugging each family member and saying :"I Love You", after we got up from family prayer. It was so sweet embracing them and hearing them repeat "I love you too." Brandon was never embarrassed by this, in fact he welcomed it. He was so open and I think he just felt everyone else should be too.
That fleshy heart of Brandon makes him very conscientious of other people's feelings. He thinks about the affect his words or actions will have on people. I remember when he was 17 and we were having FHE. The phone rang and it was his newly baptized friend Tanner. The conversation continued for a few minutes and then Brandon hung up the phone. Someone asked Brandon why he didn't just tell him it was Family Night and that he had to go. Brandon's response made me realize that people are more important than programs. Brandon explained that Tanner was very new in the gospel and didn't have a clue about FHE, and he felt it was more important to talk with him for a few minutes to strengthen that friendship than to teach him a lesson about calling on Monday night.
Because Brandon's heart is open, it is susceptible to hurt and pain. That just comes with the territory I guess. As sad and devastating as it is to experience a true heart ache, I am so grateful that he can. A stony heart is void of feeling. But Brandon's fleshy heart feels....loves....and deeply cares.
While growing up, Brandon would freely talk about his life to me. Even today I am so grateful for his phone calls. He spends time with me and is not hurried with our conversations. He opens up and shares his life, wisdom, frustrations, and even trials. His ability to share his heart has given me sacred, cherished opportunities to not just bear his burdens and mourn with him, but to rejoice with him as well. Those experiences have drawn me closer to him and I am so grateful for that.
Brandon, I have learned how to give more of my heart to others because of your example. So many of your other spiritual gifts are tied to your open, loving heart. Your heart is filled with empathy; the ability to feel what others are feeling; truly a Christ-like quality. I hope you will always be thankful for that gift and never view it as a weakness. It is what draws people to you. Happy Birthday son. I love you. Mommy
Brandon associated with a unique group of boys while growing up. Looking back on it, I sense that he was the hub of the group, giving some stability to their somewhat troubled lives. Tyler Knotek; only active member in his family. Beau Biscamp; raised by a single mom. Thomas Loderstat; father jailed for growing marijuana in his back yard. These are only the three that come to mind, but there were others with similar trials. These boys loved Brandon and I know it was because he gave them his heart. There were many times when they would all join us for family scripture study and prayers. We had a tradition of hugging each family member and saying :"I Love You", after we got up from family prayer. It was so sweet embracing them and hearing them repeat "I love you too." Brandon was never embarrassed by this, in fact he welcomed it. He was so open and I think he just felt everyone else should be too.
That fleshy heart of Brandon makes him very conscientious of other people's feelings. He thinks about the affect his words or actions will have on people. I remember when he was 17 and we were having FHE. The phone rang and it was his newly baptized friend Tanner. The conversation continued for a few minutes and then Brandon hung up the phone. Someone asked Brandon why he didn't just tell him it was Family Night and that he had to go. Brandon's response made me realize that people are more important than programs. Brandon explained that Tanner was very new in the gospel and didn't have a clue about FHE, and he felt it was more important to talk with him for a few minutes to strengthen that friendship than to teach him a lesson about calling on Monday night.
Because Brandon's heart is open, it is susceptible to hurt and pain. That just comes with the territory I guess. As sad and devastating as it is to experience a true heart ache, I am so grateful that he can. A stony heart is void of feeling. But Brandon's fleshy heart feels....loves....and deeply cares.
While growing up, Brandon would freely talk about his life to me. Even today I am so grateful for his phone calls. He spends time with me and is not hurried with our conversations. He opens up and shares his life, wisdom, frustrations, and even trials. His ability to share his heart has given me sacred, cherished opportunities to not just bear his burdens and mourn with him, but to rejoice with him as well. Those experiences have drawn me closer to him and I am so grateful for that.
Brandon, I have learned how to give more of my heart to others because of your example. So many of your other spiritual gifts are tied to your open, loving heart. Your heart is filled with empathy; the ability to feel what others are feeling; truly a Christ-like quality. I hope you will always be thankful for that gift and never view it as a weakness. It is what draws people to you. Happy Birthday son. I love you. Mommy
Experiencing Brandon's Heart
*I recorded all these different experiences regarding Brandon all on the same day 1/5/93. So this really is just one journal entry all about Brandon.
Jan 5th, 1993
I had a sweet experience with Brandon tonight. We had just finished with our scriptures and prayers. As I got up from saying my personal prayers, Brandon was laying down on the love seat. All the other kids had hurried off to their bedrooms. Brandon looked so sad so I asked him what was wrong. He said that he was sad because of a sin. Being a little startle by that, I asked him if he had prayed about it to Heavenly Father and he told me he had but didn't feel like he had been forgiven. I asked him if he would like to tell me about it. He then told me that after tithing settlement a few weeks ago, dad had taken the boys to MacFrugals to buy some stuff. Brandon had found a bag of jelly beans with a hole in the bag. He told me that he squeezed a jelly bean out of the bag and ate it. As he told me the story, his eyes filled up with tears. He was so sincere and really sad. I told him that if he had asked Heavenly Father to forgive him and he promised to never do it again , then all he needed to do was forgive himself.
We had been talking a lot in our family scripture study about Jesus' atonement and what that means to us individually. We asked the boys to think about the pain that Christ suffered for them when they are thinking about doing something wrong. I think Brandon was receptive to what we taught him and felt remorse for the jelly bean ordeal.
Brandon has a very sensitive side to him. He feels so bad when one of his brothers get into trouble. When he was little, he use to offer to go into the bedroom with Derrick and keep him company when Derrick got sent to his room. He still hates to see a sibling punished. I think he'd almost rather take the punishment himself than to watch his brothers go through it.
One experience that really stands out in my mind happened about a year ago. Brandon must have been seven. Jared and the boys collect baseball cards. Brandon found a pack of cards that belong to Jared and he opened them up. The pack of cards were probably only worth a couple of dollars, but we were upset that he'd take something that didn't belong to him and that he didn't ask first. So after Derrick brought it to our attention (something Derrick was more than happy to do). Jared talked to Brandon. I felt so sorry for Brandon; he was so sad. He was really upset about letting his dad down. He told his dad how sorry he was about it and then went into his room and got some money for the pack of baseball cards and gave it to Jared.
A few days later, I was cleaning my bedroom and I saw a note on Jared's pillow.
It said: "Dear dad, I'm sorry that I took your baseball cards without asking first. Will you please forgive me? Signed your son Brandon"
Another special experience I had with Brandon was when he was five and a-half years old. I had just sent the big boys (Derrick & Brandon) to bed and told them to turn off their TV set after their program was over. Jared and I went in our room to watch TV and at 10:00 pm 20/20 came on and we started watching a documentary on the orphans in Romania. It showed video coverage of the children in cages, being treated like animals,. It showed the horrible treatment of these children and the filth they lived in. I couldn't stand it. It was making both Jared and I so upset. We turned off the TV. After it was off, I heard Brandon just sobbing. As I got to their room , I saw their TV was on the 20/20 program that Jared and I had been watching. Brandon just looked up at me from his bed and asked me if this really was happening to these children.
Not sure of what I should do or say, I got him up out of bed and took him with me into the living room. I had no idea as to how I would comfort him. I felt I needed comforting myself because of what I had seen.
As we sat down on the couch I looked over at the fireplace hearth and saw all of our scriptures stacked up. I thought of what we had been reading about in the Book of Mormon as a family. We were in 3 Nephi where it talks about Christ visit to the Nephites. Just a few nights before, we had read about Jesus blessing the little children and how angels came down and encircled the children as a ring of fire and ministered to them. We had talked about the special relationship that Jesus has with children. The boys were fascinated with this discussion.
As I sat there on the couch with my very upset Brandon, I thought about the Savior and the children. I reminded Brandon about what we had studied. I held him in my arms and told him that the children who suffer horrible things on earth, like those little Romanian children that he saw on TV, that they would someday be in the arms of Jesus and he would bless and care for them just like he did for the little Nephite children.
It was a very sweet, tender experience as we discussed the "favor" that Jesus has for all of his children. Brandon seemed to be comforted by my words and the remembrance of what we had studied as a family. I asked him if he'd like to kneel down and pray with me so we could have Heavenly Father's spirit with us. He did and we knelt together and prayed. It was an experience I will always cherish.
Another experience I had with Brandon was when he was five and in kindergarten. In our family scripture study, we were in Alma 5. It talks about Alma preaching to all those he had baptized. Alma asked his people if they had "received His image in their countenances". Jared tried to explain what that meant as best as he could so that the boys would understand. Jared has a great quality of being able to simplify the scriptures and portraying them in a way so that they kids can relate and really understand. I was sure that Derrick was understanding what it meant to have Christ's image in your countenance, but Brandon was having a little more difficulty with it.
Jared told Brandon that people should be able to look at him and see Jesus in his face because of his actions and words. I think Brandon was taking it literal, but we did the best we could and we moved on.
The next day, Derrick had gone to school and I was hurrying to feed lunch to Brandon, Daniel and Travis before Brandon left for afternoon kindergarten. I got the boys up to the bar and made them peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and I told them to hurry and eat fast. Brandon got my attention and said: "Mom, look at Travis". I looked at Travis and he was sitting on his bar stool folding his arms. I responded: "Yeah, Travis wants us to say a blessing on the food before we eat." Then Brandon replied: "Mom, I think I see Jesus in his face". Well needless to say tears filled my eyes. Brandon understood what we had taught him the night before and he recognized that principle in Travis.
The scriptures and our diligence to study them as a family have blessed us so much. There is a bond that has been strengthened each time as we gather together in our living room and open up our own scriptures to read and discuss and ponder them together. We start off with a Primary song - hopefully a child will choose a reverent one; one that settles us down and invites Heavenly Father's Spirit in. Then we all turn to Alma. We've been in Alma for almost 1 1/2 years. But it should only be four or five more days till we're done. We are at Chapter 63 of Alma now.
Each child, even Noelle, gets to read. Jared or I will read a few words and the little ones will repeat the words back to us. Then we thoroughly discuss what we have read so we understand what is happening. We apply it to our lives and give personal experiences that go along with what has been learned. It's great! What amazes me is how much the boys love it. It's fun to them. They like gathering around and learning I can see now how Daniel is starting to add his comments and be more attentive. Travis and Noelle are still out of it , but they'll learn before long.
Jan 5th, 1993
I had a sweet experience with Brandon tonight. We had just finished with our scriptures and prayers. As I got up from saying my personal prayers, Brandon was laying down on the love seat. All the other kids had hurried off to their bedrooms. Brandon looked so sad so I asked him what was wrong. He said that he was sad because of a sin. Being a little startle by that, I asked him if he had prayed about it to Heavenly Father and he told me he had but didn't feel like he had been forgiven. I asked him if he would like to tell me about it. He then told me that after tithing settlement a few weeks ago, dad had taken the boys to MacFrugals to buy some stuff. Brandon had found a bag of jelly beans with a hole in the bag. He told me that he squeezed a jelly bean out of the bag and ate it. As he told me the story, his eyes filled up with tears. He was so sincere and really sad. I told him that if he had asked Heavenly Father to forgive him and he promised to never do it again , then all he needed to do was forgive himself.
We had been talking a lot in our family scripture study about Jesus' atonement and what that means to us individually. We asked the boys to think about the pain that Christ suffered for them when they are thinking about doing something wrong. I think Brandon was receptive to what we taught him and felt remorse for the jelly bean ordeal.
Brandon has a very sensitive side to him. He feels so bad when one of his brothers get into trouble. When he was little, he use to offer to go into the bedroom with Derrick and keep him company when Derrick got sent to his room. He still hates to see a sibling punished. I think he'd almost rather take the punishment himself than to watch his brothers go through it.
One experience that really stands out in my mind happened about a year ago. Brandon must have been seven. Jared and the boys collect baseball cards. Brandon found a pack of cards that belong to Jared and he opened them up. The pack of cards were probably only worth a couple of dollars, but we were upset that he'd take something that didn't belong to him and that he didn't ask first. So after Derrick brought it to our attention (something Derrick was more than happy to do). Jared talked to Brandon. I felt so sorry for Brandon; he was so sad. He was really upset about letting his dad down. He told his dad how sorry he was about it and then went into his room and got some money for the pack of baseball cards and gave it to Jared.
A few days later, I was cleaning my bedroom and I saw a note on Jared's pillow.
It said: "Dear dad, I'm sorry that I took your baseball cards without asking first. Will you please forgive me? Signed your son Brandon"
Another special experience I had with Brandon was when he was five and a-half years old. I had just sent the big boys (Derrick & Brandon) to bed and told them to turn off their TV set after their program was over. Jared and I went in our room to watch TV and at 10:00 pm 20/20 came on and we started watching a documentary on the orphans in Romania. It showed video coverage of the children in cages, being treated like animals,. It showed the horrible treatment of these children and the filth they lived in. I couldn't stand it. It was making both Jared and I so upset. We turned off the TV. After it was off, I heard Brandon just sobbing. As I got to their room , I saw their TV was on the 20/20 program that Jared and I had been watching. Brandon just looked up at me from his bed and asked me if this really was happening to these children.
Not sure of what I should do or say, I got him up out of bed and took him with me into the living room. I had no idea as to how I would comfort him. I felt I needed comforting myself because of what I had seen.
As we sat down on the couch I looked over at the fireplace hearth and saw all of our scriptures stacked up. I thought of what we had been reading about in the Book of Mormon as a family. We were in 3 Nephi where it talks about Christ visit to the Nephites. Just a few nights before, we had read about Jesus blessing the little children and how angels came down and encircled the children as a ring of fire and ministered to them. We had talked about the special relationship that Jesus has with children. The boys were fascinated with this discussion.
As I sat there on the couch with my very upset Brandon, I thought about the Savior and the children. I reminded Brandon about what we had studied. I held him in my arms and told him that the children who suffer horrible things on earth, like those little Romanian children that he saw on TV, that they would someday be in the arms of Jesus and he would bless and care for them just like he did for the little Nephite children.
It was a very sweet, tender experience as we discussed the "favor" that Jesus has for all of his children. Brandon seemed to be comforted by my words and the remembrance of what we had studied as a family. I asked him if he'd like to kneel down and pray with me so we could have Heavenly Father's spirit with us. He did and we knelt together and prayed. It was an experience I will always cherish.
Another experience I had with Brandon was when he was five and in kindergarten. In our family scripture study, we were in Alma 5. It talks about Alma preaching to all those he had baptized. Alma asked his people if they had "received His image in their countenances". Jared tried to explain what that meant as best as he could so that the boys would understand. Jared has a great quality of being able to simplify the scriptures and portraying them in a way so that they kids can relate and really understand. I was sure that Derrick was understanding what it meant to have Christ's image in your countenance, but Brandon was having a little more difficulty with it.
Jared told Brandon that people should be able to look at him and see Jesus in his face because of his actions and words. I think Brandon was taking it literal, but we did the best we could and we moved on.
The next day, Derrick had gone to school and I was hurrying to feed lunch to Brandon, Daniel and Travis before Brandon left for afternoon kindergarten. I got the boys up to the bar and made them peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and I told them to hurry and eat fast. Brandon got my attention and said: "Mom, look at Travis". I looked at Travis and he was sitting on his bar stool folding his arms. I responded: "Yeah, Travis wants us to say a blessing on the food before we eat." Then Brandon replied: "Mom, I think I see Jesus in his face". Well needless to say tears filled my eyes. Brandon understood what we had taught him the night before and he recognized that principle in Travis.
The scriptures and our diligence to study them as a family have blessed us so much. There is a bond that has been strengthened each time as we gather together in our living room and open up our own scriptures to read and discuss and ponder them together. We start off with a Primary song - hopefully a child will choose a reverent one; one that settles us down and invites Heavenly Father's Spirit in. Then we all turn to Alma. We've been in Alma for almost 1 1/2 years. But it should only be four or five more days till we're done. We are at Chapter 63 of Alma now.
Each child, even Noelle, gets to read. Jared or I will read a few words and the little ones will repeat the words back to us. Then we thoroughly discuss what we have read so we understand what is happening. We apply it to our lives and give personal experiences that go along with what has been learned. It's great! What amazes me is how much the boys love it. It's fun to them. They like gathering around and learning I can see now how Daniel is starting to add his comments and be more attentive. Travis and Noelle are still out of it , but they'll learn before long.
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