Sept 2012 Sacrament Mtg Talk on Self-Reliance

This summer our family had the opportunity of visiting the Mormon Battalion Historic Church Site in San Diego. Just like every other historic site the church owns, the Mormon Battalion has been restored in such a way, that you are able to put yourself right there in that moment of time. Not only was I able to catch a glimpse of what the early saints had experienced but I felt my heart turn in love and gratitude for what they had accomplished.

At this time in church history, the saints had endured extreme, on-going persecution. Their homes had been burned, their temple destroyed and their prophet murdered. An extinction order had been placed on their heads and once again, angry mobs had  driven them out of their communities, leaving the saints scattered over the plains of Iowa in makeshift encampments. With just the clothes on their back and what few personal items they could carry, the cold nights and the shortage of food left many ill and some died. It was at this time that the US Army approached the saints with the order to enlist the able men as soldiers to march 2000 miles and fight in the Mexican- American war. This was the very same government that stood by as they were driven out of their homes and persecuted. These saint-soldiers would actually march under the command of a military officer, who, a decade earlier had led a mob to run them out of state of Missouri. Now, consider for a moment not just the physical state of the saints, but also their emotional state. Would they not have every reason and right to stop in the plains of Iowa and say: “We will do no more. We are done!”

But they didn't.  And this is why. ( 1) They trusted in the counsel of their prophet, Brigham Young. (2) They knew that they were armed with power from on high because of the covenants they had made and because of this power, they could do hard things.

President Young did ask the saints to comply with the demands of the army, promising the soldiers that they would not loose their lives in battle and that their families would be blessed. Five hundred men, and about twenty women enlisted with the army, leaving behind wives and mothers with families to pick us the pieces of their shattered lives, and also the tremendous challenge of making their way west without their husbands. The soldiers marched 2000 miles in extremely difficult conditions and endured the demanding work of forging new roads. These saints, both those who enlisted and those who were left behind, did extraordinary hard things for their families to be spiritually and temporally self reliant. The soldiers received wages and money for a uniform allowance,and sent it back to their families to help buy food and supplies for their trek west with the rest of the saints. Although it had been an tremendous trial, the unmeasurable blessings of self-reliance and freedom were manifest when soldiers were finally reunited with their families in the Salt Lake Valley.

The circumstances may be different, but the effects of our trials are much the same today. Some have lost homes and jobs; others suffer from ailing health and troubled minds. We may find ourselves in a physical and emotional state where we want to say: “No more, we are done!” In these crisis situations, we are grateful for the help of church assistance, government programs, and aid from extended family. But that assistance and help must be short-termed and temporary. The Lord wants and needs self reliant families.

President Henry B. Eyring stated:

“...All people are happier and feel more self-respect when they can provide for themselves and their family and then reach out to take care of others.”

Elder Robert D Hales adds: “The purpose of both temporal and spiritual self-reliance is to get ourselves on higher ground so that we can lift others in need.”

The Lord hasn't left us alone to figure out how to do this. Just as the early saints, (1) we have been blessed with a prophet and leaders who have given direction and counsel on provident living (2) And we too have made covenants and been endowed with power from on high so we can do hard and difficult things.

We have been taught much about the bondage of credit card debt, the dangers of idleness, and the suffocating grasp of addictions; all which take away our spiritual and temporal self reliance. Elder Hales describes these things as: “Patterns of thought and action that diminish one's sense of worth. All of these excesses affect us individually and undermine our family relationships.”

In his recent general conference address, Elder Hales teaches about the power of our covenants and it's relationship to being self reliant and he issues us this simple challenge: “Have a talk with [yourself] in the mirror and ask, “Where do I stand on living my covenants?”

He emphasizes the importance of two things: 1. Preparing ourselves to partake of the sacrament each week and 2. The importance of being worthy to makes covenants in the temple.

Speaking of the sacrament he says:

“ As we sing the sacrament hymn, participate in the sacrament prayers, and partake of the emblems of His flesh and blood, we prayerfully seek forgiveness for our sins and shortcomings. We think about the promises we made and kept during the previous week and make specific personal commitments to follow the Savior during the coming week.”

It is easy to get caught up in the “hoopla” of our church meetings and callings and miss the most important reason why we assemble on the Sabbath day.

A couple of months ago Sis. Muhlestein asked me to fill in for her as music director while she was out of town. I was happy to do that and didn't give it much though until Sunday morning came and I remembered my commitment.

Usually, I love my Sunday mornings. I am at a point in my life where they are quiet and I have the opportunity to be reflective and prepare myself for the sacrament. But this Sunday, my focus wasn't what it should be. I needed to get to church early so I could put the hymn numbers on the wall, get the stand and hymnal set up, and make sure I knew how to lead the songs that had been selected. My mind was preoccupied and very busy. 

The opening hymn was a very upbeat and fast paced “Called To Serve” and I could hear my primary children sing out. The sacrament hymn was “I Stand All Amazed” and the tempo was much slower. I began to beat the time and Sis. Lyon played the organ exactly according to how fast I was waving my arm. As we completed the first verse, I was a little embarrassed by how slow we were singing. With that in mind, when we began the second verse, I lifted my arm to pick up the pace but as hard as I tried, I could not lead the song any faster. I literally felt a physical resistance on my arm and even glance over to Sis. Lyon as if to motion to her to play faster. But she didn't. Being the amazing accompanist that she is, she followed my weighted arm and we continued to sing at a very slow tempo.

Not sure what to do and confused by what was happening with my arm, I started to focus on what I was singing. “I marvel that he would descend from His throne divine to rescue a soul so rebellious and proud as mine, that he should extend his great love unto such as I, sufficient to own, to redeem, and to justify.”

As the words passed through my mind and found place in my heart, I became very aware of my Savior's love for me. At the realization that I  was worth rescuing, owning, redeeming and justifying, tears flooded my eyes and I could no longer see  the hymn book; a huge lump formed in my throat and I could no longer sing.

Through this sweet, tender mercy I was now prepared to partake of sacred emblems and focus on the redeeming sacrifice of the Lord. I felt renewed,  endowed with power to go and do better and be better.

 We need that power each week in our desire to overcome habits of dependency and exercise principles of self reliance.

Just as important as it is for us to return every week prepared to partake of the sacrament, we must return often to the temple to be reminded of the covenants we have made there. Although stake and ward temple nights are good incentives, and ordinances of family and friends are joyous to witness, our temple attendance should not be dependent on such events. Understanding and remembering that “the temple endowment is a gift that provides perspective and power” should be reason enough for us to attend regularly and often.

Regarding this power of the endowment, Elder Hales states: “As endowed temple recommend holders, we establish patterns of Christlike living. Through the Savior's Atonement and by following these basic patterns of faithfulness, we receive power from on high to face the challenges of life. We need this divine power today more than ever. It is power we receive only through temple ordinances.”

Establishing and maintaining a self reliant family is hard work. It's hard work for a young father to juggle his schooling, a job, a church calling, and the needs of a young family. It is hard work, but the power he receives through the covenants he has made, and his desire for a self-reliant family, gives him faith to act, and do hard things.

Consider the single sister, working full-time, facing the demands of being both father and mother, while diligently nurturing and teaching her children the gospel. It is hard work, but the power she receives through the covenants she had made and her desire for self-reliance, gives her faith to act and do hard things.

How sad it is to be asked to serve, whether it be in a calling, on a mission, or to serve another person and have to respond with the words: “I am sorry. I am not in a position to do that right now.”

Brothers and sisters, may we have the courage to examine our commitment to self reliant principles in our own lives. May we have the faith to act and do hard things. And may we find joy and peace as we work to establish a self-reliant family who stands ready and prepared to lift others to higher ground. 

Witty, Wonderful, and O So Wise

Sixteen years ago, I experienced a glimpse of the healing power of the Savior's touch.   It was a late Saturday morning and I was still in my  robe .  I remember being so flustered with what wasn't getting done that day.  The house was a mess, the kids still undressed, laundry all over and I was so exhausted.  I was overwhelmed  and unproductive.  As I made a feeble attempt to clean the kitchen one last time,  a brand new  bottle of ketchup slipped out of my hands and splattered all over the floor, the walls, the table, the cupboards, and all over me.  I just stood there in the mess, unable to move.  All I could do was cry.  Totally unaware of who was in the room, or what anyone was doing, I stood there with tears streaming down my face, feeling total despair and so alone.....until I felt an ever so gentle, loving touch.  I looked down to see small , three-year old hands clutching a wash cloth, tenderly wiping the ketchup from off of my feet. As I write this, I can still vividly recall Natalie's sweet little face staring up at me with the hope that her loving act of kindness would not just wipe away the ketchup, but more importantly wipe away my tears.

I have reflected on that experience many times throughout the years.  I was taught so much about the Savior that day because of a little girl who knew so much, even at three years of age.   I believe that Natalie's spirit was mature enough to know that my tears  were not for the spilled ketchup.  Perhaps she was even wise enough to know that  it was her touch, her Christ-like touch, that brought healing and peace to a very troubled heart that Saturday morning so many years ago.

We often refer  to Natalie as  an "old soul".  She has always seems so much older than her actual age.   Today she is nineteen, but her soul is years beyond that.  Natalie is so wise.   Her mature, wise spirit is a divine gift that accompanied her to earth as a baby.  She has continued to hone that gift as she has gotten older and experienced more of life.  Many times, I have become the student, learning and gleaning from her, truly in awe of the insights she offers.  I have often contemplated my role as the  mother of someone who was so  blessed with such wisdom and spiritual knowledge.  And when I ponder this, I know in my heart, that she was sent to our home to teach and guide me....and she does.

Natalie is sensitive, in every sense of the word.  On a lighter note, she is sensitive to germs, or rather environments that invite the nasty little critters.  She detests double dipping, using each other's utensils, and heaven forbid if she find a hair in or near what she is eating.  I love to have Natalie clean the kitchen; my table and counters are thoroughly sanitized by the time she gets done.

I cherish her sensitive nature in every aspect.  I remember a very  sweet conversation she and I  had a few years ago.  The subject was forgiveness.  Natalie was struggling in a matter of offering forgiveness and she was very sensitive to the fact that she was failing in a particular instance.  I listened, and once again was taught what a valiant, mature spirit was like.  She wanted to be forgiving.  She wanted to put it behind her.  She recognized that she hadn't and  she committed to work hard to  have a forgiving heart.


Two nights ago, Jared and I, with Natalie, Holly and Hannah, went to see The Dark Knight Rises.  In the scene where Batman tells officer Gordon that he remembered when someone once told him that "everything would be alright" when his parents were shot when he was just a boy;  I looked over to see tears welling up in Natalie's eyes.  Who cries in  a Batman movie!?  Natalie does!  She cries in commercials that are in the least bit sentimental to her. She cries when she listens to songs that tug at her heart. She cries every night as she watches her beloved "Dr. Who" series.     I actually adore this in Natalie.  Many would think otherwise, but she wears her heart-strings right on her sleeve in full view for anyone to pull.


Speaking of how others may perceive her, I think she has everyone fooled.   He quick and witty remarks would make others think that she has nerves of steel and feelings to match.  That is so far from who Natalie is deep down inside.  Her feelings are very tender and even fragile.  When Natalie is aware of financial struggles, personal concerns, or anything that involves someone she loves, her feelings run deep.  She wants to make things all better so everyone can just be happy again.  Sometimes I think it would be hard to be Natalie.  She never shuts down when it involves matters of the heart; her heart or the heart of anyone she loves. She aches and hurts when other do.


As I think of who Natalie is, I have come to  conclusion that she is the best parts of both  Martha and Mary. Her personality isn't one that stands out or is comfortable being the center of attention in a big crowd.  She loves attention, but goes about getting it in quiet ways.  Like Martha, she is often behind the scenes plugging away at life, doing what she likes to do and often enjoying her solitude.  Like Mary, she seeks opportunities to better herself, be where she should be, doing what she should be doing .


Today, I have shed a few tears thinking about  Natalie. I am so honored to be her mother.  I have such deep respect for who she is.  A couple of days ago, she made the comment:  "I am going to be an amazing wife."  Yes, you are Natalie.  You will be an amazing wife.  You will be an amazing mother.  I know this because you are an amazing person and desire righteousness.  May the Lord continue to bless you as you strive to  become what you know you are to become.  I love you dear daughter.  Happy Birthday.  Mommy

I Stand All Amazed

A couple of weeks ago I was asked to fill in as the music director in sacrament meeting for a few Sundays. Of course I was happy to do that and didn't give it much more thought until Sunday morning came and I remembered my commitment.

I love Sunday mornings. They are usually made up of quiet, reflective, preparing moments  that allow me to focus my heart and mind in accordance to partaking of the sacrament. This particular Sunday morning started much the same way as others, but my focus wasn't what it should be.  I needed to get to church early so that I could put the hymn numbers on the wall, get the stand and hymnal set up, make sure that I knew how to lead the songs that had been chosen, etc.   My mind was preoccupied and very busy.

I led a very rousing Called To Serve as the opening hymn and could hear my primary children's voices sing out. It went well.  The sacrament hymn was I Stand All Amazed.  The meter was slower.  I began to beat the time and wonderful Sis. Lyon accompanied me exactly according to how fast I was waving my arm.  As we completed the first verse, I was very aware of  how very, very slow we were singing.  With that in mind, when we began the  second verse I lifted my arm to pick up the pace but as hard as I tried, I could not lead the song any faster.  I literally felt a physical resistance on my arm and even glanced over to Sis. Lyon as if to motion to her to play faster.  She didn't.  She followed my weighted arm and we continued to sing at a very slow meter.

Not sure what to do and confused by what was happening with my arm, I started to focus on what I was singing. "I marvel that he would descend from his throne divine to rescue a soul so rebellious and proud as mine, that he should extend his great love unto such as I, sufficient to own, to redeem, and to justify."

As the words passed through my mind and into my soul, I humbly became aware of my Savior's sacrifice and love for me personally,  I was worth rescuing, owning, redeeming and justifying.  Tears flooded my eyes and I couldn't see the book.  A huge lump formed in my throat and I could no longer sing.  With my head bowed, I continued to lead that hymn in hope that others were not distracted by my emotions.

The first speaker in the meeting was Pennie Rumsey.  She started off by sharing an experience that had just taken place.  All morning long she had been doing all the things that is required of a mother of four prior to going to church.  Her mind was busy, and anxious in trying to organize her thoughts for her talk.  Pennie shared her uneasiness about how slow the sacrament hymn was being sung and how  she just wanted it to be done.  But as she began to focus on the words of the hymn, she had a feeling of peace and her mind and heart were calmed.  She expressed what a sweet experience that sacrament song had been for her.

I was so appreciative she voiced that tender mercy, which in turn was a tender mercy for me.  I was somewhat embarrassed about the slowness and my tears and so grateful to know  that it was meant for her too.I know that my heavy arm was the result of two (and probably more) heavy hearts that needed to be lifted. 

I write that my children may know that preparation for partaking of sacred emblems is an important part of the sacrament.  I write that they may also know, that every little facet of our lives is important to the Savior.  He stands ready to calm the troubled soul............if we just let him.

Adventures With Judy ...Part 2

When the thermometer says 80 degrees outside at 5:30 in the morning, Judy and I  head to the game farm where the many ponds and over-grown trees allow for us to walk without suffering heat stroke. We have been doing that for the past three weeks.

This morning we headed towards an area of the game farm that we haven't  explored thoroughly and started down a dusty, cow-pied road.  After walking for 20 minutes or so, we came upon a herd of 15-20 cows out grazing in a meadow.  I asked Judy if wild cows were known to charge strangers.  She nonchalantly shrugged her shoulders and said she didn't know.

We didn't give it much thought because we continued walking down the road that would go past the cows who appeared to be more interested in their breakfast than two old women out for their morning exercise....or so we thought.

As we got closer,  the cows started to circle up.  We thought they were just a little intimidated by us, but again, no big deal,  and we continued walking almost to where we were parallel with them.  The only thing that separated us was a row of overgrown weeds.

All of the sudden six or seven cows turned around to face us and stared us down.  We stopped in our tracks as we watched each cow turn to face us.  No big deal, we just turned around and started  to walk away.  We did hear some excessive mooing and upon looking over our shoulder we saw  the herd running towards the road, right in our direction.  After we shot each other the "how do we get ourselves into these situations" glance, we started running with all our might.  Every now and then we would look back only to see huge clouds of dust indicating the cows were still on the rampage.  HUGE BIG DEAL...and we were scared!

Because you are reading this blog post is proof that we made it back home safe and sound, but not without it effects on my poor poor knees.  I can barely walk this afternoon!  Would I trade the experience to not have painful knees..............NO WAY!

Living After The Manner of Happiness

Last night was not a night for sleeping.  My body was exhausted, but my mind was wasn't.  Every personal doubt and concern was brought to my attention. Struggles and problems that some of my children are facing, consumed my thoughts.  Uncompleted tasks, school work, weight loss, home projects, financial matters, and so much more were played over and over and over in my mind all night long.  I  could hardly wait until 5:30am came so that I could go on my walk and leave all that behind  for an hour or so.  And that is what I did.  The walk refreshed me, gave some sense of clarity to my thoughts and allowed for me to regroup and continue on with my daily routine which lead me into my  scripture study.

This is where I testify that  a study of the scriptures and taking the time to ponder  is truly how the Lord speaks to us.  I opened up to where I last ended, that being 2 Nephi 5.  Kids..........go get your scriptures, I  discovered a beautiful, inspired pattern that addresses all that consumed my mind the night before and I desire for you to learn this pattern as well.   The end result of this pattern is found in verse 27:  "And it came to pass that we lived after the manner of happiness."   As I read that verse,I immediately was overcome with a desire to "live after the manner of happiness" and no longer be plagued with what I felt was unproductive thoughts and feelings.  With that in mind, I reread,studied and pondered and discovered this pattern to do just that.

1.   Verse 6:  Nephi has been told by the Lord to take"... those who believed in the warnings and the revelations of God" (v 6)  and separate from those who sought to destroy him.  We must separate ourselves from anything that would destroy us spiritually and keep us from living after the manner of happiness.  For me, at this particular moment in time,  that would be feelings of  being overwhelmed and thoughts that are thwarting my progression.


2. Verses 12 - 13:  Nephi brought with him, the records and the Liahona  "... and began to prosper exceedingly". Scripture study and application, along with the companionship of the Holy Ghost is our guide to living after the manner of happiness.


3. Verses 15, 17:  Nephi teaches his people to "...work..to be industrious, and to labor with their hands.".  Being engaged in work, hard work, every single day work, physical, mental, spiritual work, is ESSENTIAL to living after the manner of happiness. IDLENESS, whether it  be physical, mental and/or spiritual  is the WORK of the adversary!


4.  Verse 16:  Nephi constructs a temple where the "....workmanship thereof was exceedingly fine".  We are not required to construct a temple, but we are required to worship at a temple where we make and keep sacred covenants.  The exceedingly fine workmanship that we offer is by consistently going and serving others and renewing covenants.  Covenants and temples allow for us to continue to live after the manner of happiness even when life gets stressful and hard.


5.  Verses 25:  The Lord tells Nephi that his brothers seed will serve as "...a scourge...to stir them up in remembrance of me [the Lord]". I know that all those doubts, concerns, thoughts, problems will not magically disappear and stay away.  But instead of letting them keep me stagnant  I can let them stir me up to act and rely on the Lord and pursue my desire to live after the manner of happiness.


6. Verse 26:  Nephi consecrates his brothers to teach and minister to his people.  I do not have the authority to consecrate anyone to that position and responsibility.  But as your mom, I would ask that you teach each other, your spouses, your children, and your grandchildren how to live after the manner of happiness.   


I write that my children may know.... that  I desire to do all I can so that we can all live after the manner of happiness.

A Child Shall Lead You

As I dropped off Holly and Hannah at the church for Girls Camp this morning, I thought of the two girls from our stake who were killed on the way up to girls camp a couple of years ago, and also I thought about Jared and I traveling to San Diego tomorrow for a few days to celebrate our anniversary. (I know...what happy, uplifting thoughts.)  But with that in my mind, I hugged the girls and  insensitively said:  "Remember that if I don't ever see you again, I love you!"   I looked at Holly and she was visibly shaken and disturbed and I immediately felt horrible for what was a calloused, flippant remark to her.  I pulled her close again  and said:"Holly I am so sorry for saying that , please forgive me."  Although obviously still upset, Holly responded with these words:  "Mom, I forgave you when you said it."


Two lessons learned:
1.  Be more mindful of the Holy Ghost when  I speak.  
2.  Forgiveness is a condition of the heart, not something that needs to be earned.  
                                                                                           
Thank you Holly.

Eternal Glimpses

As a young bride, I said  "Yes"  to eternity with Jared Rust.  Eternity was fine, but at that point in time, I couldn't even begin to fathom being married for thirty-one years.  And here it is, thirty-one years later, wondering where on earth did those thirty-one years go to.

Last night, while saying my prayers, I was discussing my marriage with the Lord; thanking him for Jared, asking him for help, and as I did these things, something very unusual took place.  While still on my knees, I had some very specific memories come into my mind.  Upon finishing my prayer, I quickly took note of  those experiences and wrote them down. As I contemplated such sweet moments that Jared and I had shared in together, I was filled with love and gratitude for him, for my Heavenly Father and Savior, and for the opportunity  to "remember". Remembering is the Lord's way of helping us to renew and recommit to sacred covenants we have made. This experience has done just that for me and  I happily share some of those cherished memories with you.

•  I remember the trust I placed in a twenty-two year-old Jared, who one day, when he was very frustrated with me, stated:  "No one will ever love you more than I do."  As an immature, unsure, twenty-one year old girl I remember feeling scared  as much as flattered by those words, but totally trusting what he said.   I always counted on his promise to be a source of comfort to me, to help us get through petty arguments and even overcome difficult trials that we would  face together. And they have.

• One day when our family consisted of just two little boys, Jared came in the house and told me that we needed to get to the temple that evening.  Our temple was St. George (Vegas temple was not yet built), and I responded by telling him that we literally had no money for gas to make that trip.  I will never forget what he said:  "That is one of the reasons why we need to get to the temple".  I was so grateful for his display of faith, obedience, and guidance.  I remember feeling so safe, and so grateful to have a husband who acted in faith for our little family.

• When I was 7 months pregnant with Travis, Jared and I attended a concert with Kenny Loggins.  I was feeling so huge, less than attractive, and just plain exhausted.  But I really was excited to go and managed to even sew me a cute, new maternity outfit for our big date.  I am not sure just when this occurred, but I do know it happened because I replayed the experience over and over in my mind.  Jared expressed to me that although there were lots of girls and women at that concert that night, no one there  was as beautiful as I was.  I remember Jared looking me right in the eyes while he said that, and I truly believed every word he said.  I knew I wasn't the most beautiful girl there, but to Jared, I was.   I was his most beautiful girl and that is all I wanted to be. 

• While living in the Meadows ward in LasVegas, I was called to serve as  stake camp director.  As excited as I was for that calling, it was also a very discouraging situation as I was working with others who weren't quite as enthusiastic as I was with what I hoped to accomplish. In fact, it had been an emotionally exhaustive 4-5 months of preparation prior to even being on the mountain.  Girls camp came, I went, and I returned home after the completion of the camp.  I walked into our home and the first thing Jared said to me was:  "How did it go?"  in a more upbeat voice than he usually had.  I told him it had been great, and it had.  (The previous problems had  been worked out and did not even enter into my mind.)   Jared then said:  "Well I have prayed for you every day so that it would be a good experience for you."  I realized at that moment  that he had actually suffered right along with me as I had shared with him my frustrations.  Again, feelings of safety overcame me and I was so grateful to have a husband who would  ask Heavenly Father to simply make girls camp a good experience for me. 

• One day, while living up on airport road with 6 children, Jared was frustrated with something I had done.  I recall perfectly what I did, and to be honest, Jared had every right to be bothered and upset. And this turned into a source of contention.  I am not sure just what was said, but I left to go out into the laundry room.  I stayed there for sometime, thinking, crying and doing the laundry. I don't recall seeing Jared walk into the room, but I do recall feeling his arms embrace me from the back and it startled me somewhat.  I was embarrassed, ashamed, guilty, and so not prepared to feel his loving embrace.  I didn't move.  I didn't say a word.  I just stood there and listened to these amazing, profound words:  "Lorri, I am so sorry.  Can you please forgive me?"   I have no idea what my response was.  I might have nodded my head, or mouthed a very quiet yes.  I was so focused on the warmth of loving arms around me and the love that accompanied a heartfelt apology.  I had never, ever experienced that before.  It was encompassing, eternal, and so needed.  He wasn't the one who needed to ask, but he was the one who did.  And I was the one who felt safe and secure in his arms and in his words.  

• The last experience I share is a little embarrassing for me, because it seems so self serving, but I hope you understand why I share it.  I was called to be the Stake Primary president of the Logandale Stake.  It was a calling I truly loved and worked hard to do what the spirit would have me do.    One thing I knew for sure, Jared was proud of me and was my greatest supporter, especially with this particular calling.  One day, again, I am not sure of the details surrounding the conversation, Jared, just out of the blue, said to me: " I wish I could find work in Salt Lake so that we could move up there and you could be called to be in the general primary."   I didn't aspire to that, had never talked to Jared about that, but that he would voice such a thing made my heart skip a beat and endeared him to me all over again.. He championed me.  I still walk on the clouds as I  recall that conversation. Not because it is something that would ever happen, but because it is something that Jared thinks could happen!

I love and cherish each one of these memories and so many more.  I am not sure why the Lord brought these to my mind, but he did. Remembering is important!  I love you Jared.  Happy Anniversary.