Thoughts and Feelings

Twenty two years ago our first daughter entered the world.  Here are some thoughts of that day and of that daughter that were recorded in my journal.

Jan 8, 1993
I think I should write about someone who has brought two years and almost one month of  nothing but sheer joy and happiness to my life.  Of course it is our princess Noelle.  She was a surprise from the very beginning.  I had no idea she was a she while I was pregnant with her!  I had prepared myself for one more boy - which I really wanted.  We had an ultra sound, but we couldn't determine  the gender.  I remember Frieda Turley telling me that the baby was  a little girl because she was being modest in front of the camera.

She was born Dec. 13th, early in the morning.  The night before, I was exhausted.  The Young Women had come over to drop off some goodies and Pam  Driscoll was with them.  I remember telling her I had better have that baby tonight!  I  had a tough time with that pregnancy.  It seems like I spent nine months being tired and keeping Daniel and Travis in their room so I could just rest.  I felt a great tax taken on my body and mind.  It was a lot more difficult that any other pregnancies.

Around 2:00 am, I felt that first contraction and all the sudden I got panicky   I knew what pain was ahead.  It's the first time I remember ever anticipating the pain and being terrified.  We called mom and dad and they came over and stayed with the boys.  Jared and I  trotted off to the hospital for the fifth time.  It seems like my doctor, Stuart Steele, who is in our ward, barely made it, or at least he looked like he just climbed out of bed and drove on over.   He delivered Noelle and it was hard; I remember wanting to just give up and go home.

Jared made the phone calls and told everyone it was a girl.  I remember  the nurse and Stuart saying it was a girl -  I was just to tired to react.  But after they cleaned her up and lay her in my arms, I was absolutely overjoyed.  It was almost unbelievable though.  

I  remember  I had barely gotten to my room about 7:00 am and the phone calls started coming.  The ward was thrilled.  The gender of this baby had been discussed even in sacrament meeting.  Everyone was thrilled about our little girl.  Near the middle of the day, I received lots of visitors.  It seems between family , ward members and friends, the room was continually hopping.  It was so fun.  All this fanfare and hoopla for this new little girl.  

Noelle is greatly loved.  She is really respected by her brothers.   They treat her different than they treat each other at the same age.  I attribute that to a couple of reasons.  First, Noelle's personality and mannerisms are so opposite from the boys.  The boys each have very different personalities, but there are so many things that tie them together;  things that identify them as boys and brothers.  But Noelle is definitely a little lady.  She is more calm and more gentle than her brothers.  I know it's something she was born with.  Those traits and characteristics are innate;  they were there from the very start of her life.

Noelle has got Jared wrapped around her finger.  It just thrills me to see him melt when his daughter calls to him.  She adores him.  But really  Noelle adores everyone.  She is so loving to her family.  Daniel and Travis send a shiver up her spine every now and then, but she'll even kiss and hug them with a little coaxing.  Noelle is like Daniel in the fact that she is shy around strangers and even relatives.  She is content to always snuggle on my lap and have me hold her.  But she does love to tackle her brothers.

March 1, 1993
I have such a sweet little family.  Noelle just came in my room and got some Christmas socks out of my drawer and handed them to me.  She said:  "It's Frosty the snowman mom!"  She gives me so much joy.  Her sweet, little girl personality is absolutely charismatic.  She  loves to get dressed for church.  Lately I've been putting her fine, blonde hair back in a ponytail and tying  it up with ribbons; I curl her bangs under and she is just so cute.  Noelle knows it too!  She walks around and catches herself in the mirror whenever she can.  She is such a girl.  

Nov. 29, 1993
Noelle is my sweetheart.  There can't be a sweeter, kinder, or more loving little girl.  I will admit - she does have a stubborn streak to her, but it is seldom seen.  You just can't help but love Noelle!  Natalie lightens up at the sight of Noelle and Noelle loves her so much.  She is so good to get me diapers and wipes and Natalie's clothes.  She is a very big help to me.  I hope my girls will always be close.